Of asshats and little men

In this case, he's one and the same. The torturous two-year-old on a mission form his master, Legion, to destroy my sanity, one paltry braincell at a time. The only thing I want do do now is sit on the sofa, eat cheese curls and male Hershey's bars, and fondle yarn, and I think maybe I overdid the dose of my medication. However, little dude-person was hollering and screeching for a "ba" (we ran out of formula powder and thought we'd have a go at weaning him off the sauce) and it was nearing the breaking point for me. 'Boris' is off at work still, so he missed a lot of "quality time" with his spawn today. Lucky for me I keep Mommy's little helper handy, and while I can't feed it to him, I can eat all I want of them and then just giggle at his meltdown, from a fuzzy, happy corner of my brain. He, too, is now content with cheese curls, so I'll bid you adieu. I have to stagger over to the living room now. This heavily medicated post about nothing in particular was brought to you by the letter M, because Melly thinks I've been a lazy blogger. Perhaps she'll find a way for me to post from the shop tomorrow. I'm bringing the camera, Miss M... you just bring that big brain of yours, k? smooches to y'all. I can't feel my front teeth...

Awww, you guys Rock!

Thank you for the kind words. Those, coupled with my daily meds, will continue to keep me calm and centered for at least the rest of the day. Admittedly, I was fairly miffed about the whole thing, but my darling 'Boris' put it all into the perspective that was seconded by y'all. The real shame of it is you know the people creating the bags and needles over in Vietnam aren't making fistfuls of dollars for their efforts. Hell, there's probably a street market where the 'seconds' are sold to tourists for pennies on the dollar. And the price for a pair of 10" ebony needles is more on the current wholesale list than I paid retail for a pair in another shop two years ago. Curious, no? This really boils down to local shops being piss-headed, and that's fine for them. But if I've tied my own cash up in stock for the shop, and been helped out by fellow knitters to meet what turns out to be an artificially inflated initial order (sales reps are notorious for that), what business is it of anyone else's? Lantern Moon makes the same amount no matter what I sell their wares for. Isn't that the bottom line that should matter to them? Oh well.

As you pointed out, their stuff 'ain't all that and a bag a chips' (a goofism from one of my half sisters. It applies here). And I do have the Harmony needles in sizes 2 thru 2.27 mm. I marked them up $1.50 from Knitpicks price, and the company knows I'm selling them like that. I have the 32" circs, too, so sock knitters can loop their hearts out. I'm told that Knitpicks' own Kelly has begun trying two at a time, so can a Knitpicks 40" be far behind? Oooh, I hope so, though I do love my addis. They are just a little kinder to my fingers when I'm stress-knitting (oh, so tightly). Speaking of socks, today I'm starting a pair in Lotus Yarn "a thousand hours". Four skeins arrived on Tuesday and I. Love. Her. Yarn. The pair I'm making is a shop sample (yeah, for about a day) and I can't wait to get started. I've finished two pairs up this past week, all because I couldn't wait to get my fingers into Lotusknitter's yarn. I feel honored to have her yarn in the shop. Well, gotta get ready for "work" (that is never going to get old... yarn and fabric being called work... tee-hee). Latah, knittas.

Price-fixing, anti-capitalism, and Lantern Moon

Well, it was a disappointing phone call, as I tried to get things all arranged. Sadly, a sneaky bastard (yes, I realize companies google themselves. Now.) got involved and now my 'opening order' will never, ever be happening. Yes, gentle reader, I have been blackballed from purchasing lovely Lantern Moon products for the shop. As a teeny, tiny business, in an eensy-weensy space, in the little hamlet of Franklin, Indiana, this is probably not a crushing blow. Nor am I surprised. Some of you (from as far away as Australia!) say you don't understand how needlework shops have such a hard time getting in basic supplies, and this is why. In this case, I'm guessing it was a combination of factors, because I know the operators of Lantern Moon do not read this blog, but instead had a little tattle-tale drag them to it, and my offering up products at wholesale to get the opening order out of the way evidently harshed their mellow. You know the movie "Office Space"? It was like I was stuck on the phone with Lundberg... 'Ummm, yeah (pause) we aren't going to sell to you because (pause) it isn't fair to other retailers (pause) ,hmmmm, for you to offer cheaper prices than they do.'

This of course opens the door on price-fixing, which cannot be defended. If I choose to sell something at less of a mark-up, because a company inflates their prices and has an elitist attitude, should that company be supported by the knitting community at large? I'd love to have the products in store, but the truth is most people won't plunk down full price for "beautiful and handcrafted products" (their words) and how better to support "socially and globally conscious living" (again, their words) than by PUTTING MORE PRODUCT OUT THERE? I guess the starving women in Vietnam don't need to make more things to sell in Indiana, because I wasn't willing to rape you all on price. Apparently Lantern Moon is, though, so you shouldn't be distraught. My apologies to all those who were so willing to help a struggling shop-owner out.

On a happier note, the happy chaos quilt class keeps growing. I can not wait to see the pretties that come out of our workshop. I'm shooting for a January 5th/6th and 19th/20th set of classes, and the modern quilt wrap kal in the kidsilk crack will hopefully follow soon. I'm offering alternate colorways, because the light blue is light blah to moi, so a deeper blue and the blackberry color will be available for substitution. I think the 'jelly' color is mandatory, though. We could all use a bit more chartreuse in our lives. Au revoir, mes tricoteurs.

For Her Royal Pinkness

This recipe whomps 'arse', and is just the thing to have laying about in the fridge until a wet, cold, inhumane day calls for a bit of, well, blurring. For Steph, who may or may not be able to knit after a few of these, here is a recipe for Hot Buttered Rum:

For the mix:
1 stick real butter, NOT margarine
1 pound (seriously) light brown sugar
1 tsp. Saigon cinnamon, or 1 and 1/2 tsps. regular ground cinn.
1 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. angostura bitters
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
1/8 tsp. ground allspice (or a pinch of cloves)

Mix all dry ingredients with sugar, then melt butter and sugar mixture over medium heat, stirring constantly to prevent scorching. Keep stored in the refrigerator until ready to use.
For the drink, combine 1 heaping tsp. mix, 2 ounces dark rum, and about 4 oz boiling water, stirring to mix well. Dark rum is key. If you are daring, may I suggest "Tattoo", the spiced rum from 'Captain Morgan'? Enjoy!

p.s. It isn't nearly as cold as it looks outside, which leads me to think I'll be driving home on ice when all this wet muck chills out tonight. arrgh. Cami

Indiana never disappoints

It's near freezing outside, though with some drizzly rain this morning. Much better than yesterday's sleet, which made the "Christmas Lights Parade" in the hamlet of Franklin ever so much fun. I heard the marching band, the kids and I dashed outside the shop's doors, and all we caught were some horse's asses. Morgans, I think. Then I realized I had ice in my hair and that was the end of our parade fun. Obviously there are Mensa members in charge of Franklin's festival planning, as the previous evening we had a luminary walk around town from 6-9 pm. A perfect time to snap on those holiday lights, don't you think? Today promises to be cold and dreary. I'll be getting those Lantern Moons orders organized and sitting with a pile of yarn swatches in my lap. I have another pair of socks nearly finished, and the monkeys are done, washed and drying on the AGA as I type this. I do have to get all the kids ready for 'work' so I'll type at y'all later. Stay warm. Cami

Wunderbar

That's what I brought to work this morning, except I guess it's actually marketed as a 'wonderbar'. It's a snazzy little crowbar and wow, did it ever make 'rearranging furniture' easy. There are major changes happening at Clementine's Dry Goods, mostly because yesterday was a slow day. That is all I need to cause myself big headaches... a quiet hour and I can plan big messes. Here's where I'd show you the photo of the shop, all ransacked and chaotic, except we all know how that struggle with Blogger will end. Quite frankly, it's a bit early in the day for me to be popping Xanax. Geesh. Can you imagine how discombobulated I'd have this place if I went at it medicated? Okay, LeAnn's here... gotta get moving... stuff to displace... latah, knittas.

I am Threatening Daily

My account with Knitting Daily isn't allowing me the unfettered access to that damn 'modern quilt wrap' pattern Redrhonda is so hot for, so I'm still in the process of resubmitting my info, since having them remail my password to me isn't going well... yahoomail is down at this precise moment, and I'm finding myself stuck. I'd just extended the Lantern Moon "get it hot and at wholesale prices" offer to our lil' yahoo group, too... that's about when yahoo died on me.



I've heard from my favorite "southern melle", who apparently has taken up aerial acrobatics coupled with gravity experimentation, much to her backside's dismay. She will survive her antics and tells me that more yummy yarny goodness is wending it's way to my shop. Yay. About the yarn, not her brush with death. That part sucks. Be well, dear Lotus. She's also got another enticing contest over on her blog... I keep meaning to enter, but I'm such a vicious yarn hog. Just looking out for your best interests, muh knittas.



That Crocker Woman and her superspouse were here at Clementine's last Sunday, delivering and painting the new fabric cupboards. All. four. Of. Them. Cupboards, not Crockers... there are just two crafty Crockers involved in the creation of the3 (whoo, where'd that come from?) world's best little yarn and fabric emporium. The Crocker offspring are too busy being 1.) an adorable of-age delinquent, and 2.) a mysterious, angst-filled film maker-type teenager. How the elder Crockers ever find time for my alter-ego amazes me. I love that very tall knitta and her well-muscled hunkahunkaburnin' woodworker.

I was going to attempt to publish through flikr, to see if I could get up some photos to y'all, but that involves steps which I have to be talked through. Repeatedly. Slowly. So, for now, you just get ramblings. Pictureless rants, which I'd threatened to cease with the previous posting. I am nothing if not reckless and hot-headed. Midwest Masters is coming up. I actually went and bought a 2008 calendar so I can plan my spring. There are only five days between that event and Maryland Sheep and Wool... but Lucy Neatby is at the Masters weekend... oh, the torment, the indecision, the angst (hey, that's twice in one post... is there a prize for that?) Well, I have to go be a shop-keeper now. Y'all keep your sticks in the yarn/hands on the quilting till I get back.

This was supposed to be the final post, but...

I have nowhere to go, the Xanax finally kicked in, and the two hours I spent getting my Typepad account going was a waste of an afternoon. I was able to get photos to post on Typepad, but couldn't get the posts to show. They just slipped into some cyber-spastic blackhole, and no matter what I did, there was no proof I'd written a post, let alone tried to post it. The titty hats looked exceptional in their photo-op, though, and I'm quite pleased with the rhubarb custard pie I baked today... while medicated, even. Tee-hee. Just having a quiet evening now... the decaf is ready, and it's nearly time to put the kids to bed.

For Miss Anna... I do not have a single doughnut fabric in the shop, but, if you give me a head's up for your next visit, I'll try to have some real ones available. I make fantastic spudnuts, if I may say so. To anyone else out there in the near vicinity, there is a bounty on this blog... make pictures go and you can name your price (provided it's fabric or yarn, or anything in the shop). I have only Wordpress to try next, and am too overwhelmed with other stuff to bother with the sorting out of technical crap. Come to think of it, I'm not in good shape to do much of anything on a computer... I just want the buttons that always worked before to work again. It doesn't seem to be working out that way.

Please excuse me. My oldest daughter is being an idiot, the two-year-old is nearing meltdown, and the middle three children are auditioning for "Lord of the Flies, Becher Haus style", so off I must go to police the inmates. Happy digesting to all of you out there. Cami

Signs of Life

The shop was a riot yesterday. Miss Barb brought in an early Christmas present. Seems 'Victoria's Secret' sent out some gift cards for special, holiday edition panties. She went in to redeem her gift card and lo, it was a whore-pantie. Of extraordinarily tiny proportions. She gifted it to Clementine, who, although a figment of my imagination, has exactly as much control over her weight as she does her mouth. (I think it's the liquor, but she claims it's the dreary English countryside forcing her to ingest large quantities of sugar to keep from throwing herself off a bridge.) Suffice it to say, on her next trip to Hong Kong, her SARS mask requirement will be met in holiday style. Thanks, Barb.

Addi Turbo needles have been ordered. I'm not sure how it all got taken care of, but I didn't fall for the "you really need to buy the starter pack" line, and, in just ordering the important sizes and some of the new lace knitting circulars, managed to keep the order below anxiety-attack levels. Also, just for my blog readers, I'm pre-selling 'Lantern Moon' at deep discount prices, to get the initial order out of the way... if it's Lantern Moon and you want it... silk bags, totes, needles, the new 'gelato' silk ribbon yarn... you just e-mail me and we'll get you hooked up. This is wholesale plus a wee bit of postage, kids. You know you wanna. And Gaylen, there is a replacement guarantee on your sockstix. Just contact a local shop that carries them for help getting a new needle.

Now, I'm off to work, after I throw an ice-cream sammie at the two-year-old, who apparently woke up just now with a sore throat. I knew it was coming, as he slept forever yesterday. Latah, knittas. Cami

p.s. This is my second-to-last post on old Blogger... stay tuned...

The Missing Post

No, you're not crazy. There was indeed another post put up on Sunday, but I caught myself being ranty and preachy, and decided, eventually, that I wasn't in a mood for "engaging the enemy" and you already know about my little anger-management problem (which is strangely only a problem for the people I'm aggravated with) and so much of what people think they know about our military history and our government is so skewed... well, I realized I couldn't do the topic justice, and it overwhelmed me. Then I got caught "censoring myself", as Melly put it. In a way I'm very flattered. I didn't think anyone was paying attention. Bloggyland is a very odd place, and I don't know if I'll ever get used to the whole thing, but I read your blogs, and usually I'm too tired to type much of a comment, but I smile, nod, and occasionally nearly pee myself. I love that y'all stop by from time to time.

Once this week settles down (craziness of SBA loan still 'out there', we're re-financing the second mortgage to help with Clementine's bills, and I'm still trying to put together the "happy chaos" quilt class...) and hooking begins Saturday... the wonderfully talented and fast Nancy Brown is teaching a beginning hooking class. Yay! A real class at the shop, and I don't have to teach it. I can't tell you how much fun I'm going to have standing by, being not responsible for all the teaching/talking/eyes on everyone. Just puttering around the shop, soaking in all the non-accountability of having students in the shop. Being the one and only has been a real eye-opener, and I've learned a lot about myself in the past three months. I am stubborn (duh), opinionated (again, duh), and I stink at book keeping. Let me just say how stunned I truly was about that last tidbit. I keep my personal stash of sock yarns sorted by brand and the giant picnic basket full of 1930's repro fabrics are arranged in graduated colors (like a little vintage rainbow). The fact that I cannot seem to keep like paperwork with like astounds me. I have precious few weeks to get it all sorted out before tax time, and the book keeper lady God sent me is having a goiter surgery (stop that snorting, I am NOT making this up) and is going to need to recover for several weeks, so she won't be able to drive on account of not being able to turn her head. That means I have to get serious about learning my Quickbooks crap and no more "whiney-baby-poopy-pants". Again, Melly. Then there's the whole 'switching over the blog' thing and every once in a while I try to post a photo on Blogger, but the same 'error on page' crap happens and then there's Ravelry, on which I'm 'Camillaknits' (oh, genius that I am, keeping it all the same) but don't go look, because I haven't loaded any of my photos, or my favs, or a damn picture of myself, or my queue, or what friggen' needles in which sizes I own... * pause for dramatic sob* ... and we're back... it's a huge black hole on the internets, and I'm afraid to be sucked in.

Egads, it's after one in the morning here, and the Skacel rep comes to the shop in the morning. Ha! I'm one step ahead of you. My jeans are in the dryer, and 'muh whorepanties' are clean. I threw that in for muh knittas, Harriet and Robin and Barb. I'll be seeing them later today. When are y'alls coming by for a visit? Gotta go peel my contacts off my eyeballs. Ugh. Cami

Q & A session

First, to Stephanie (stuck out in the wilds of the left coast), Xanax is my "drug of choice". I'm a bit of a crank, and the Xanax is a ginormous chill-pill, so I don't have to throw myself off the roof or slam anyone else's head in a car door. I have 'anger management issues', but aside from hating everybody, I'm really pretty nice, and, I think that's all that matters here. It probably all stems from a crappy childhood, but five bouts of post-partum depression left a nice big dent in my coping skills. Xanax is "cope" in a bottle. Yes, that's how quippy I always am... aren't you glad to be off somewhere away from me, happily knitting a second sock in one form or another? p.s. did you know Malabrigo comes in over 150 different colors? I so nearly pee'd my pants... and rep-dude left me the swatchbooks. I'm so 'whelmed. We could grope them together if you didn't live so far from here.*pout*



Now to cheap needles. I'm not knocking Knitpicks needles, because I have dear friends who use them, quite successfully, I should add. It's just a frustration, as I'm now a shop owner, to be in a position where I either have to funnel business to a mill-end retailer or try and 'stick it' to my customers, which I won't do, even for those gorgeous 'darn pretty' needles. I have a sock student who will have to knit magic loop, as her advancing illness will make knitting on double point needles too much of a hassle. In an ideal world, I would have just walked over to my needle display and grabbed the 32" 2mm needles she required, and we'd have been done with it... I may have even gotten her to cast on today. The hassle with Skacel has been ridiculous. I've been open for nearly three months now, and just yesterday got a message from their "rep". I have no idea when they'll be able to get addi Turbos into my shop, but I needed circulars TODAY, and had not one to offer. I'm putting an order in to Knitpicks, and we shall have our pointy, flexy, inexpensive needles. I might even order some of those fancy wooden ones what are backordered till doomsday. I can wait as long as it takes. You with me, Claire?

Gaylen, I feel your hair-pain. What it took for me was to walk into a salon I had no business in and tell the cutie-girl with the scissors to do whatever it took. And I also dyed my hair dark brown... quite a big change for me, but forcing my gray hair 'blonde' was costing me 235 bucks every three weeks... and it only looked really good for four days, and after eleven I was cringing. Now I dye my roots myself, though Erin still gets to chop on my hair. Add tons of texture on top, coupled with Aveda volumizing tonic (and an arm-numbing blow-drying session every morning) and I'm good with the new look. I have way less hair than I did a year ago, so I'm hoping to fix that, but, like I said last night... wigs could be kinda fun. I'm getting used to the idea.

I plan on trying to get into my mailbox next... I thought I spied a reply from Thimbleanna in there earlier. This day was so nutty in the shop, and 'Boris' was stuck home waiting on our new bed to be delivered, I just can't seem to make any progress with my jumping over to Typepad. I may have to devote tomorrow to that job, as I have LOTS to show and tell, and I think I can get Melly to do all the techie-stuff for me. She hates to see me pout, and she's become something of a useful gadget that I'd rather not do without... do you HEAR me, Melly Crocker? Gotta go; there is a rat movie awaiting my knitterly attentions. It's a ruse to sit very near my 'usband and sniff his aftershave and pinch his bum when he gets up for drinkies mid-movie. *tee-hee* Have a great night, muh knittas. Cami

Just a Quickie...

and then I have to get back to 'real life'... the one where I attempt to get into bed the same day I get out of it, except that window has closed already, as it's after midnight here. I've been perusing some a y'alls blogs. Bloggers rock my little world, y'know?

Today was haircut/eyebrow wax/nail fill/meet herbalist day, and while I was out (alone... daddy-o and the chirruns were off to the library,etc.) thirty-six bolts of "Full Moon Forest" fabric was delivered onto my porch. Then Miss Lotus e-mails to tell me YARN is on the way. I'm overwhelmed, and excited, and I have rockin' sexy hair... well, the ones still on my head are, anyhow. I'm hoping the nutritional advice will help, but if I do go all baldy from weird thyroid stuff and vitamin deficiency, I will have the best collection of wigs since the first season of 'Alias'. I might even go buy one just for grins. Platinum blonde? Red? Pink? Perhaps wigs look best when they are blatantly obvious, not like when you see an older girl decked out in her 'going shopping' finery, but her hair is on crooked. I never know where to look when I see that, and it makes me a little panic-y inside. Nope. If I go wiggy, I'm gluing that sucker on with eyelash glue. Unless there's special tape... or sticky dots... love those.

Now, even Bill/Boris has gone to bed, and I'm just waiting for the Xanax to take effect. Droopy does happen. Eventually. I taught a bit of knitting tonight, and that is always exciting, as there are two new sock knitters about to turn their first heels. Yay. (inside, I'm doing cartwheels and backflips). Blogger has decided it hates me and my stupid *&%3ing blog, so, yet again I cannot show you pretty pictures of strange and wonderful things, but I can tell you that I'll be switching to the kind that must be paid for, in an effort to keep everyone's attention. Did I say this would be a quickie-post? Ooops, my pants are burning. Hope y'all have a great night, er, morning. The Malabrigo rep comes tomorrow, so if you are Melly, please bring me chocolate, because when all the yummy samples leave, I will be sad. Decaf might be required, too. Just in case I have separation anxiety from all that beautiful Merino. My lip quivers already...

coming up for air

This week has been a blur. I suppose our inability to handle 'houseguests' on short notice combined with the change in Bill's work schedule, and the complete removal of a wall in the shop have left me feeling a bit whip-lashed, if that's even a word. Also, the whore-y nails are getting in my way and I won't have a chance to rid myself of their excess length till Tuesday. Oh, and I finally waded through the sea of paperwork from a certain distributor, and I've decided to bail on my purchase of "darn pretty" needles from Grafton Fiber Studio. It would seem that, in Vermont dollars, the needles are supposed to be a bargain. Thirty dollars retail, people. For tiny little 2mm sock needles. Thirty bucks. And, until the copyright deal is settled, you can buy a similar looking set of sock needles for six bucks at Knitpicks. Now, I'm all for artisan quality tools, but come on... Seems like a wee bit of a discrepancy, don'tcha think? I'll sit back and wait till the lawsuit levels things out, seeing as there are toes being stepped on, stylistically speaking, and then, perhaps, if the fates allow, Clementine's will have a few to offer as wares in the shop. I will most likely have to buy a set of each (el cheapos vs. the Graftons) just to try them out for myself. But now it is time to go, as it's 5:31 in the p.m., and the natives are restless.. and hungry. p.s. business loan in the works... cross your crossables, k? Thanks!

Still waiting for photo-ops

There is something to be said for houseguests who spend three days cleaning your house. If I'd been at home when the in-laws were leaving, I may have clung to my mother-in-laws' leg and begged her to stay forever. Except that would drive her into an early grave. The floors look really great, though, and the kids' rooms are sooo nice. I'd show y'all photos, but blogger still isn't co-operating. I am distressed.

There is a new patchworking class in the works, to take the place of the apron-along that has now finished. Everybody's aprons were fantastic, and I was surprised at how quickly everyone got 'the hang' of sewing again. Like riding a bike, except funner. So, now I'm plotting a "happy chaos" block class, and it's going to be a riot, with a grab-bag for broadening each patcher's fabric options. But now i have to go be a shop-keeper... type at y'all crafty chicas later. Cami