Friday, May 22, 2009

little things

I haven't had much to say lately. The blog had become too much about the shop, and not about why I started blogging in the first place, which was to have a place to put all the strange, weird, and wonderful crap that was accumulating. I was house-bound with five children, Clementine's was just an idea, and typing seemed more fun than muttering to myself.

Fast forward to the middle of May, 2009...

I've devoted the past three weeks to building my tolerance for whiskey. Wild Turkey and Jameson's Irish are my favs. This doesn't seem useful to the casual observer, but next summer's pub crawl across Ireland will go much smoother if I can drink and stay dressed. Not sure what the public intoxication laws are like there, so it's really best not to tempt fate. The last thing I need is to wind up in a dirty Irish jail because I got drunk and showed someone my tattoos.

Today was the onset of another town fish-fry, but buffered somewhat by the addition of the Strawberry Festival. Seriously. The whole town was staggering drunk by 7:40 this evening. As a thoughtful shop-keep, I had laid in an extra supply of toilet tissue and paper towels. Tomorrow will be more of the same smelly fish stink, coupled with the air-conditioning repairman's efforts to make things cold. I was such a sweaty mess by the time I got out of the store today I nearly decided to peel my legs out of my jeans and drive home butt-ass nekked. I didn't, but I reserve the right to do so tomorrow. I might even wear full-seat panties so I don't have to rip myself off the leather, fruit roll-up style, once I arrive home. Ouch.

Nine days until we (the Melly, the Mandi, the No-Amy, and me) leave for Seattle and parts northwest. Planes, trains, and automobiles... and a big boat, will all be employed to move and entertain us. I have put my foot down about the three hours of dinner theater with the dancing midgets. Sure, it's only $104.oo for the meal, but that doesn't include drinks. How much alcohol it would take for me to sit calmly whilst sword-swallowers and bearded ladies cavort with midgets... at the tables... is kind of an unknown factor, but I'm pretty sure I'd be paying handsomely for the THREE HOURS of torture. At least two hundred bucks. No, we're knocking over a liquor store and hauling our drinkies poolside. Melly's grilling us a red onion pizza. Maybe she'll sing for us while she's at it.

9 comments:

Thimbleanna said...

Nine more days??? Ooooh, how exciting! You kids are gonna have fu-un! And what's this about an Irish Pub crawl next year???

Marigold said...

I've got to say, whiskey and midgets is a LOT more interesting than what I normally see around here (being housebound with 3 kids...). And the trip sounds like a lot of fun, too! Remember to flirt with the cute pool boys just for me ;)

@eloh said...

Now, where do you think I'd be today if I had ever passed up on liquor and midgets? . .

Tam said...

Dang. I was hoping you were gonna talk about politics.

@eloh said...

Shows like that always have a contortionist thrown in for good measure. Back in the old days in the French Quarter of Berlin I saw a woman fold up and come out the other side and lit a smoke.

Yeah need to stay in a tight group though, a magic man grabbed our friend Mary, poked her in a magic box and stuck swords all through. My other friends and I agreed we would have done something to save her but we were too drunk and didn't want to get all hoo dooed up ourselves.

Second thought, maybe ya need to take an extra with you, you know, just in case sacrifices have to be made.

brigette said...

i grew up in seattle.
pub crawls? you should go to the KELLS in post alley, above pike place market, in the alley off of post street, a little irish pub. you can practice drinking whiskey there!!
need any ideas of where to go?
i love telling people where to go!

Stephanie said...

Hey woman! I have been so busy I haven't read any blogs...until now. I can't believe it's almost time for you to be in parts nearby.

When you are talking midgets and meals..are you talking Teatro ZinZanni in Seattle? Because OMFG it's like my favorite "date treat" place to go. So friggen cool and yummy food too. True...no drinks but it's so worth it.

Gimme a call. Let's talk. I'm more reachable that way these days anyway :)

prairievisiondesign : handmade said...

Missed you at the store last night. Let's update your hours (and more?) on the website. Call me when you return.

@eloh said...

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