stick a fork in it...

it's done.

Clementine is for sale. As both a wanton, and a lush, she finds herself in need of a new keeper. Just want the fabric? The yarn? It can be arranged, and very cheaply, since her current mistress finds herself in the throes of panic almost daily due to the demands of homeschooling five children, an omnipresent laundry pile, unfinished projects, and the morning mouse (a short but disgusting tale of home owner woe... suffice it to say, there's body disposal to be done every damn day).

If you are interested, please feel free to call the shop Wed-Sat, 11 to 5. The 'Camilla-walks-away-from-it-all' price is very low, unlike her blood pressure. It seems I'm not at all cut out for the demands of marketing... I just like to make stuff. That's where my happy is, so there I will return. The rest of it, the grueling part, is over for me. I have a mental stop date of July 1st, unless things pick up remarkably quick... but I'm still out. It'd just be nice to have our girl Clemmie running some decent numbers for her new sugarmomma.

string's the thing

Yesterday:

Today:

Yep. You got that right. And some are even hand-wound (ow, not ooh)balls due to the uncooperative nature of the hundred inch hank and my swift's lack of circumference. Huh. That sounds dirty, even to me...
moving on...

New 'Lorna's Laces' colors. Sock yarn makes me giddy. Along with yon sweater kit from up top came a few yummy skeins of handpaint tweed sock yarn, as seen below. I covet one in particular. Might even have moved it into my stash. Newsletter thwarting me mightily. Must go throw something and then haul dinner home to chirruns... back later. *mwah*

breaking the silence

Wow. Who knew I could shut up for over a month? Sometimes I even amaze myself. Not so amazing, though, when you lose your words. Melly's son dying kind of pushed that situ over the edge for me. She and Ken were so beautiful at Justin's memorial service. He was an amazing kid, smart and sarcastic and nearly sincere in his proposal of marriage to me over my cheesecake and mac 'n cheese. My heart still aches for the empty place he leaves in his family, but the boy who had all the odds stacked against him from the word 'go' packed a whole lot of life into his 22 short years. The urge to rail against God, fate, the universe... it's a common reaction. Seeing Melly accept what couldn't be fixed and knowing she's strong enough to keep breathing... that was amazing to see, but I hated that there wasn't any other choice for her. She's just not a crumble-to-the-ground person, and what good are tears when the damage is done, the loss has happened? I have a new and unexpected distaste for that saying 'it's all over but the screaming'.

I probably started this post thirty times in my head, and never got past the first two sentences. Turning 40 hasn't brought me any wisdom and illumination, unless you count the extra silver my hairs are sporting. They seem damn illuminated...
No other news worth tappity-tapping about. It's been a quiet couple of months here at Becher Haus. I got bored with whisky and took up tequila. Amy, the Belly Dance Instructor Extraordinaire, has mentioned another performance in May, which is kind of soon for me, scarred as I am from my foray into the world dressed as a Village Person back in October. My sock habit has gone from bad to worse, as I now have possibly a dozen socks on needles. No biggie, you say? That's a dozen Second Socks that may never happen. Or, rather, nine. Three sets of two-at-a-time-toe-ups are on needles. So, there is a chance all will be well for them, given time and attention.

Attention. There's a word for the day. One of me and a whole lotta else. Starting to feel the pressure. Clementine has been a major pain in my arse since December, and I'm cracking under the strain. I sent a snarky e-mail to an equally snarky old man the other day, who complained about the store's newsletter. You know, the one with the 'safe unsubscribe' button at the bottom? Oh, and the e-mail list that the customer's have to sigh themselves up for? Yeah. I might have been less than complimentary... you want to see? Really? *sigh* Okay... if you insist...

Dear Mr. McCoy-
As I only use e-mail addresses provided to me by my customers, and have gained permission from all parties involved prior to putting a customer's address into my database, I am appalled that you are having difficulties with the newsletter. I send them out so infrequently, you see, but if another one should happen to darken and defile your apparently fragile 'inbox', you have only to scroll to the bottom and click on the 'safe-unsubscribe' link.
It's really that simple. My apologies for your distress.
Camilla Becher
Clementine's Dry Goods

See? Sense the restrained shitty? Yeah, I've had a few months of that. I love my customers, I love having a place to let color and ideas run wild, but I'm about all out of happy with the economy, and crabby old farts, and lib-tards. uh-oh... insert ranty bit here...
If you're a Democrat, I apologize for the slam, but it's not about you. I'm pointing out a problem I have with Some Others... those people who forget we have a political system in place where we get to express ideas and vote and do all kinds of fabulous things, and here's a Newsflash(!!!)- we don't have to agree, and that doesn't make me an ogre simply because I don't believe in welfare programs and I think the military deserves way the hell more money to pay soldiers. Just. Back. Off. We aren't changing each others minds, and though I can accept that, and value you for your humor and thoughtfulness and creativity anyway, you get to be close-minded and throw me under a bus whilst feeling self-righteous and, to my surprise, 'open-minded'. This is my blog, where I get to be indignant and pissy and vent all the things I rarely get to say to actual humans, though the rant you just read has flown out of my mouth several times over the past two years. I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of person. My best drinking buddy is a huge Democrat, and that's not just 'cuz she's tall. I like people with convictions. I just wish more people weren't so programmed with intolerance. Strangely, more of it comes out of the Other camp, if you feel me.

Now, I was supposed to have a hot date with lil' friend Susan tonight, but a co-worker decided to have labor pains, so she'll be slaving away at her Starbucks instead. Justin Moore is in concert April 2nd. I'm in need of a country music fan to endure it with me, as Herr Becher just looked at me as if I'd sprouted a third ear when I asked him. Time to hit the elliptical for a 60 minute torture session, then some of those new, illuminated gray roots are screaming for a touch-up. l8r, kittens...

huh?

yeah, this is just an 'i'm not dead yet' kind of post. the camera took a vacay without me, and i have yet to locate the card reader on this here new computer, so it's not like i could show you pics or anything anyway. running on little sleep and fewer brain cells. planning a little mischief for a certain bookish pal...i don't think she's a blog follower over here, but until it all shakes out, i can't breathe a word.

yeah, that might kill me.

so, tomorrow is pajama-day. finally. i didn't think it would ever get here. this has been a shit-ass week for one of the sisterhood. we love you, t.w., and i know you're gonna rock the tank tops this summer, even without the ta-tas. prayers and belligerent rantings to all higher powers aside, i just know you're too damn stubborn to let cancer beat you. plus, you've got two beautiful babies and a good man who can't possibly let you go... not to mention the 'victoria's posse'. and we are all that and a bag of chips. use us as you need us. we bow to your will, and will you to get better!

i'll probably venture out with the becher babies later in the day, if the roads aren't too icy from the threatened snow what's supposed to fall and ruin our fun. need to get used to the unusual diatribes that have started coming out of youngest child's mouth... like this tidbit from last week...
(scene: the suburban, pulling into mcd's)
daddy: "who wants nuggets?"
peanut gallery: "me!", "Me", "ME, too!"
5th child: "not me. i need chicken with bones in it so i can build a yombie"

huh? who ever expects to hear their four year old plotting to build a zombie? and why does he not use Zs? oh, it's a tootsie-pop mystery... 'the world may never know'...

wonderland

So, the neighbors prolly think I'm insane (well, duh), but this morning's drive necessitated a few pull-over minutes... every vista was stunning. I took several shots, but this was especially nice, so I'm sharing it with y'all...

I did manage to get a 48 minute workout in this morning, and have the best intentions to get another one in this evening, since Herr Becher informed me via text (he just got a full keyboard. don't worry, he's catching up quick) that it's stuffed pork chop night. He's cooking.
He rocks.

Now I'm off to maybe sew some on the wonky log cabin quilt blocks, since sitting down isn't so wincy now. Today is the first day of the Knitting Olympics. My goal is to get the celtic knot tunic and two pairs of socks off needles... while listening to the Ting Tings. Makes keeping in pattern more of a challenge.

unfiltered

There are days, and there are days... like today, when even breathing seemed to put me in a pissy mood. It's those damnable newsletters that, oh, say, seven seconds after you hit 'publish', will reveal their dirty little secrets, like the wrong store hours, the lack of a date for a sale event, or just poor placement of written text...
and silently, you fume, cursing the gods of all that is unholy and electronic for not making you a better widget-mover/detail queen.

Then you stifle the urge to choke the next person who says you should send them out weekly.
As if I'm even allowed that much Xanax.

Other news of note: the new hoo-hoo seems to be healing up at the appropriate rate, and a launch date of mid-March has been approved by the surgeon. Not that I'm cracking a bottle of champagne over it, but as things go, some sort of fanfare will be expected. Someone kindly warn Herr Becher that there should at least be flowers...and steak. Mostly steak.

The weather since Saturday has wreaked vengeance on Clementine. She's discovered a new aptitude for tequila, and came home with a coffee mug from her favorite pub last night. I wasn't privy to the details, but she either charmed the bartender into the freebie, or we're looking at petty larceny here...

This week I made the mistake of committing to a 'fitness program'. *shudder*
Now I need to be off to sleep, if I'm to get up and ruin my day-full-of-promise with 45 minutes of cardio work in my scary basement. You go eat a cupcake. Then bring me one...

pre-surgery update, nombre dos

Hello, weekend. Glad you could make it.
What I'll be wearing...

And what I'll be playing with before-hand...

More 'wall' pics, but these are pre-glut, so bear in mind Clementine has way too much fabric and you should prolly come buy some. That's not a shameless plug for your hard-earned cash. I seriously just don't want to be crushed by bolts of cloth when the shelves give way...

pre-surgery update, numero uno

So, I've been a busy Frau Becher these past two days. The wonky log cabin was not just a passing fancy... it appears to have taken over my free time, as seen here:

this is 20 center blocks plus one round of wonk. I have since added the beginnings of round two. Looking like I might get it done this weekend, if tomorrow night's super-fun outing doesn't put me out of commission too long into Sunday, though I refuse to admit to ever getting hang-overs. Down here, we have the Paula Prass "flights of fancy" feature fabrics that finally arrived at the shop the other day. Good grief, but they were a long time coming...

totally worth the wait, though. I'm planning another quilt to show them off to their best advantage... maybe one of those 'candy bar' quilts...
Down here you'll see some specimens of the 'Timber' fabric collection. I was apparently having a retro, 1920's moment, because they are a whole lot of Arts & Crafts style wallpaper-inspired prints. Cuteness, though. Especially the tiny birds in the trees. How cute for wee baby things. Oh, you know you want some bird fabric...
don't even think about ignoring it...

I'm off to hit the sack now. Last night was a wash. A monster headache kept me from belly dance class last night *gasp* and tonight Herr Becher thought it sporting to take me out bar-hopping, then put me on the elliptical trainer whilst still tipsy.
Okay, it was way funner than normal, but really, is that a viable exercise option? We shall see...

snickity, snickity

ok. lots to get done before 'surgery day' on monday. just a quick little update to appease those of you sitting at your workstations trying to look busy whilst catching up on all your favorite crafty blogs. i am currently covered in thread snippets and have found an answer to my quilt block quandary. a man in north carolina has provided the visual i needed to push myself into getting a wonk cabin going. i'm using heather baileys's "nicey jane" fabrics in blue/green/yellow. young master eli saw the stack of fats and informed me, in his most solemn voice, that they needed to be on his bed, in 'a warm and soft quilt'. so, you look around over at mr.cary's blog; i have a pile of strips waiting my attentions...

Chez Moi?

C'est la chose que j'aime le plus.
The 'French-phrase-a-day' calendar Mandi's torturing me with this year informs me that that's the way to say "It's the thing I like the most". Right now, it seemed relevant. So many pretties here... the new 'Boutique' collection from Chez Moi...

It's Moda fabric, so bear in mind it cannot be re-ordered. Perfect for stashing, or for the stack&whack class Miss Deb's teaching in February.

Below, you will find a small sampling of Anna Griffin fabrics from the 'Isabelle' collection. Hoping to add more as space allows, but walking past the shelves makes me a little flinchy... full to groaning they are. I have one intrepid customer already planning to sew Amy Butler's 'Liverpool' dress in the pink/red/orange stripe. It's gonna be fabulous!

Here's a 'Serendipity Scarf' update. I tried to get it to pose with the new skully black & white fabrics that arrived two days ago, but there was pouting, and it threatened to drag itself along the floor and get full of dried slush-muck in front of the door. *deep sigh*
Just two more 'rows' to go, though I'm thinking of using up the wee bits and bobs of the sock yarns to grow it a little longer. One can't ever have too much color...

And, lastly, a peek into one of life's little mysteries. No longer will I need to question why my knitting sets off my allergies...

I'm going to need the super-sized sticky roller to clean that up...

Moving forward...

I proclaimed last year as my 'year of living dangerously'. Travel, yoga, pub-knitting with whiskey (NOT for the faint-of-heart, trust me!), and belly dancing were the add-ons to my sedate life last year.
What? You think yoga clothes weren't frightening? Shows what you know. I scare myself in those gawd-awful pants!
Anyway, I'm continuing the theme for 2010, 'cuz there's more pub-knitting to be done, and more muscle groups to master. I found a truly awesome spectacle on youtube today, so now...
I have BIG plans for 2010. Check it out.
I've also decided to branch out in the knitting arena. Though I hope/fervently pray to finish up the countless pairs of socks currently on needles, I decided I'd commit to an actual 'garment'. So, the day after Christmas, while the kids were still jacked up on cookies/candy/new video games, I busted out the frogged 'February Lady' sweater, reclaimed the yarn, and casted on this...

Sporting not one, but TWO of these Celtic beauties, and stretching my attention span far more than is comfortable, or even safe, the reclaimed yarn is becoming a freakishly soft knitted 'sweatshirt', with the cables providing shaping at either side of the waist...
Yeah, like I have one of those...*snort*
But there you have it. A sample of what's up with me this year. Oh, and since I have to turn 40 (shudder) this year, and my favorite local band ever is playing a mere 4 days before the dreaded event at The Juke Box in town, I might even find myself up on stage belting out a country tune.
Nothing like a little stage fright to keep it real.

little bits of happiness

I spent yesterday dusting and rearranging bolts of fabric. Robin aka 'Austen'(currently of 'why is the rum always gone?' fame) came in to assist and succeeded in convincing me to overhaul every single shelf-full. Seriously a slave-driver, that little missy. In a few days I might put up fabric wall pics. If you are a well-behaved lot of ruffians.
In the meantime, here's a photo-essay of the happy that has come in the past week. They are (top to bottom) Denyse Schmidt's 'Hope Valley', ibid, Heather Bailey's 'Nicey Jane', and more of the same. The Hope Valley collection is complete. The Nicey Jane is slightly over half here... where the hell is my super-cutie UPS man, anyhow? He may be toting the rest around. Stay tuned, crafty chicas...

Happy Christmas, y'all!

I'm over the hat thing. The one photo I managed to get of three of the four 'first hats' is on my phone, and it's not great. However, they mostly looked like this one on Miss Amanda Croucher's head. She's a new knitter, taught in the local pub. A hat on dpns was her first project, and she did a bang-up job.

So, what does the adorable and intrepid new knitter gift her knitting sensei with for the holidays?

Oh, hell's yeah.
That Croucher might just be the teacher's pet. Fabulous whiskey and fun company made yesterday one of the most pleasant knit-ins ever... well, and the 'Red Velvet Elvis' cupcake from The Flying Cupcake. That may have played a part...yum!

In the paranormal romance corner, the latest from our favorite local author was dropped by yesterday for a thorough going-over. Post-It flags at the ready. I'm looking forward to my holiday edit.
Now, to get back to my quiet Christmas Eve day here at Clementine's.
And, yeah, the Black Bush is at hand, for knitting emergencies, you understand.
Have a happy ho ho ho, y'all!

dirty, sexy knitting

Another day, another bout of knitting ennui. Four hats in three days nearly did me in, but I don't get to stop. This train to knitting hell has a few more stops to make before I work the button tab hat out of my system. To change things up, I'm doing a 'turn a square' hat as well. No charming button tab to lure me to the big finish, but I do love me some raglan decreases. Monday/Tuesday Mandi has decreed that Mr. Hottie UPS Man needs a Christmas cap as well... *sigh*
My bloodied and broken fingers need to get back to work.

A shipment of Opal sock yarn arrived today. It was all "ooohs" and "aaaahs" as I unpacked it. Gorgeous stuff. I confess I look forward to new Opal far more than any other yarn in the shop.

I was fine till I noticed the accordion with huge bosoms splayed above it, then the Snow White-style corset...the baby-doll nightie, and then (so good I just HAD to show you here), the pink Tyrolean rig... really? Sex on a yarn label? Come on.
Then I thought about it a while. Sex sells. Of course it does. And isn't that your first thought when you look at a ball of sock yarn?
Apparently, it should be.