Over here

Yes, I fell off the blogging wagon again. Didn't mean to, but Santypants got a wee bit behind in the shopping department, and although the kids did not implode when they saw their unwrapped gifts, there was a sense of disappointment. Next year I will have gift bags sewn up, and all the shopping will be done by Thanksgiving. No exceptions. I don't have access to the kind of drugs "last minute holiday shopping" requires, and even if I did, who'd drive me home from the mall? Planning ahead for next year, Clementine be damned.

I got a package from our west-coast stuntstitcher. She is hopefully feeling better. The box of goodies got here Christmas eve. Tiny, perfect skirts, a too-cute bag made in the "Chocolate Lollipops" fabrics, and needle rolls. And the best snowman I've seen in ages. He looks like he's built of a stack of marshmallows, but not like those s'mores snowmen... this guy is elegant. He's also currently hanging from the chandelier over my dining table, so perhaps he's also a bit of a tippler... Many thanks to the fabulous Miss G for her supreme stitching antics. (And all while recovering from surgery. She rocks.)

There is a blogger coming here for the new year. Acutually, there are two headed my way. This is what kind of crazy knitting and knitters can do. Hopefully, they will both have a fine time here in Indiana, and there will be pictures to follow. If you are in the area, Sunday is when we'll be having our "big blog meet" at the shop, so if you'd like to come say hi, or see if Melly and Redrhonda are real girls, or meet the knitter I accosted in a Milwaukee-area bookstore, then come on in, for pete's sake. We'd love to see you. Of course, the addy is 66 S. Water St., in Franklin, Indiana. I will be spending the next two days making sure nothing too scary or stinky resides in my upstairs bathroom, as I don't get to entertain houseguests often, and it gets to be sloppy/messy/gross in the upper regions of our abode. Rubber gloves will be called into service. I'm excited to see Miss V again, and meet her son and sister. Okay, I've got to dash outta here. Type at y'all latah, darlin's. C

Redrhonda gave me cashmere...

and I don't have to just stare at it in balled form... she knitted me the leaves scarf from a previous year's Interweave "holiday knits" edition. I have coveted this scarf for so long, and when her 'Clapotis' had to die a froggy death, it was my secret desire to have a beautiful leaf scarf of my very own, and she knit it for me. Melly got one, too. I haven't even taken mine off yet, and technically I got it yesterday (just noticed it's 1:23 a.m.) Will post more later today if I get the chance. I may be too busy burying my face in my deliciously soft leaves scarf. That redrhonda has mad skilz... I'm so very glad she used them for me! She hasn't put the photo of the two happy recipients up on her ravelry page yet, or I'd link it here... that will have to wait till I've had some sleep.

Yeah, what she said

I suppose you all know by now that I take a fair amount of medication. You also know that I am not the most geeky of persons, and that I consume fair-sized blocks of other people's Melly's time asking them Melly to fix computer problems. This being said, it should come as no surprise that I did not know the photos I blog from flickr are available for all the world to see... that I could have told you to click the pretty picture and then you would've seen at least the five or so photos I'd uploaded to the flickr page. Well, duh, already. And yeah, I tried to get a good shot of Eli looking amazed at the tiny food in the miniature rooms exhibit, but it was dimly lit, and calm, and quite possibly the most restful corner of the museum, with the exception of the Anne Frank exhibit, but, quite honestly, there wasn't much room to sit down in there.

So, on tomorrow's agenda we are having a bit of holiday sugar fun at the shop, and I'm casting on a sock... the second sock of the LotusYarn, which I meant to do at knit night, but someone brought in a whole pond's worth of frogging, and so ripping commenced. I think she's all sorted out now, but will have to move onto smaller projects (are you paying attention, TC?) so our little knitting surgeries don't have to involve ten or more inches of searing painful ripping retrospectives. And I told you I was going to beat this little strike-out horse to death, (the divine miss M taught me another new trick) and I love it, but my medicine has kicked in now and I'm dizzy and sleepy and my hands smell really good and I want the "ticky-tacky boxes" song on my phone, because a yarn shop owner whose phone plays Weezer's "Undone" is just showing her friggen' age. My twentieth class reunion is coming up this next summer and I look like... not myself at eighteen, that's fo sho. Gotta address those little probs. Really just gotta get some sleep. That meeting today went for two hours, and I had to send the coffeehouse owner, the adorable Sus (with an oooh, as opposed to an aaah) to retrieve muh knittas and keep them warm in her shop while I hot-footed it back to Franklin. There is much to discuss, Grasshoppers, but tomorrow, when Melly will also be showing this ol' dog again how to use the laptop's photo card reader. Yeah, I used to be blonde, and some habits are just too hard to kick. Have a night,y'all.

a view from below

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Originally uploaded by clementinesdrygoods

... from the spinning, round sofa-thing, beneath 18,000 pounds of glass. Chihuly glass. There are more photos, but as I can only post one at a time through Melly's ingenious work-around, this is all I can show you for now. Tomorrow is another day, with no OPC (other people's children) in it. Have a great evening, and you can catch what my other half thought of his grand day out over on his blog. And for the record, I think that schoolteacher had decided to let the hideous brat stay "lost" until it was time to get back on the bus to go home. And it really was a banana sticker on that chick's forehead. I bet all the people who work at the Children's Museum are stoners or drunks... probably both. Poor creatures.

Not Exactly As Planned

Well, actually that would be the understatement of my week. Just moments after hitting the publish button, and calling That Crocker Woman to check her plans for the day, number one daughter came out of the shower with a hideous rash all over her neck and shoulders. Then, just as I'm debating whether we should dash off to the dermatologists' office or go play at the museum, I think to check if our doc is in... not till tomorrow. Groovy baby. We're headed to town... just as soon as I print off the directions. Then I think to click the 'hours' button, and whadaya know? They are closed Mondays from September through February. How bloody convenient for them. So tomorrow will be jam-packed: doctor visit, museum, knit night. Today was just a weird stay-in-pajamas day. I mean, I did shower, but climbed right back into my still-warm jammies, went back to my glider rocker and heating pad, and resumed the first "Thousand Hours" sock. It did some wild, tiger stripey, swirly stuff, but I love that about hand painted yarn. That serendipity is the whole point of knitting it, for me anyway. Oh, and the colors. Lotusknitter's colors are divine. I'll show you the socks when I have a pair. Starting second sock tomorrow. Not trying to be a tease, but the camera battery wants charging, it's pitch dark in here aside from the monitor light, and my medicine kicked in a few minutes ago, just in case you were wondering how Clementine got let loose. Her grammer isn't better than mine, she just seems sexier because she's slurring. Have a good night, all you festive crafty peeps out there. Kisses, sweeties... and save me a bite of the door! C

p.s. Blogger is still shutting me out of comments, Melissa, so I think you'd better just get busy and show me the sweater. All that flogging and public humiliation you put this old bag through, I think I deserve to see some knitting, dammit. I have my own blasted ice to look at. p.p.s. The cat is still smacking her head against the window at the Titmice. (Titmouses?) Anyway, she's in for a rough day tomorrow, when they bring all their feathered buddies to the feeder. I feel like I should put a helmet on her.

Good morning, Jolly Roger

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Originally uploaded by clementinesdrygoods

This is the "down side" of homeschooling our children. They get creative little urges and sneak down in the night and leave magneted 'messages' for the 'rents (that'd be "Boris" and moi). Don't get me wrong... I love that my kids think of this stuff all on their own. It's just a bit too startling at four in the morning, when I'm up making the man his morning joe. That isn't usual behavior for me, btw. Normally I'm smart and prep the coffee maker for it's duties before bed, except now we're trying a new tactic for coping with my seasonal depression/anxiety. It's called getting more sleep, and evidently it works, because I slept from 9 p to nearly 3 a, and by 3:30 was out of bed, cleaning up the kitchen, and settling in with my knitting. I expect to finish the LotusYarn sock today, unless those devil-spawn children of mine talk pretty at me and I take them into Indy to the Children's Museum. My parental units came through with a year's pass as a Christmas gift, and as Bill/Boris hates going there, it's all on me. I know I drive till I see a dinosaur crashing out of a building, but as for parking, etc., I still have some research to do. The Chihuly blown glass installment is something I've been dying to see. Yes. Glass. In the Children's Museum. I wouldn't consider it a swell plan, either, but hey, we have a season pass. Let's give ol' Lucifer, oops, I meant Eli a chance. Worst case scenario is I have to pull out my Jackie O shades and pretend he's the neighbor's kid when the news trucks pull up outside the doors.

I have a great many plans sketched out for the shop, post-holiday. A series of patchworking workshops ala 'Material Obsession' (those Aussie chicks are amazing and, oooh, I just want to squeeze them and love them, and pet them...oh,um, sorry. My inner-Elmira got a little excited just now.) and a new Camp Wannamaikasaukee using sport weight yarn (Gems, of course) and a seamless sweater class, along with a lightweight summer wrap kal. Now I just need my geeking genius, Melly, to produce a reproducible master copy to be distributed around the hamlet of Franklin. Also required is that web site. I'm making up a series of boards for how I want the pages to look, but the getting there from here is what's causing my brain to freeze up. Ack! Deep, even breaths... and a few more... okay. Better. Now, I'm off to wake all the monsters, scrub them clean and put them into dryer-warmed clothes. Have a pleasant day, all you crafty mamas (and daddy-Os, just in case any of my readers are testicle-laden.) Latah, knittas

It wasn't a bum day...

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Originally uploaded by clementinesdrygoods

Today was a nice day, a calm day, a day that began with half a xanax and then Robin brought me flowers (or rather, they will be when the bulb sprouts... purple hyacinth. Pretty.) LeAnn also came by to make sure I was fine and dandy, then my banker, her auntie, and her momma all came around. Banker Woman (not her official designator, but she's entitled to her super-hero secret identity) is as frustrated as I am about the funding situation, and dropped by on her day off (told you she was super) and had some ideas for how to get a business plan put together... you know... that thing I'd hoped to avoid? Yeah, I guess that lil' plan backfired.

The photo above is an old-ish one I took for Thimbleanna, because she'd captured Eli's propensity for sleeping in weird places so well when she came to visit the shop. This is a sound-asleep little man, resting precariously atop a glider ottoman. Odd, and a wee bit sad, but I'd been at the computer all evening and the ottoman was as close as he could get without being in my lap. Yes, I have a shelf all dusted and set to display my latest mother-of-the-year award (or MOTY, as we past winners call it). His toes on his right foot are scrunched up, but all five are really there.

This blogging through flickr is weird, and I had hoped to remember the camera to get snaps of the newest fabrics to hit Clementine's Dry Goods. I'm sticking it in the bag for tomorrow, and if we don't get six inches of snow, I'll be in the shop to have another go at it. Two quilts are in the works, as are several socks (the LotusYarn is swirling beautifully... you must see later... once I finish.) Prepare to drool. Latah, knittas. Cami

Clementine's big gripe

Aha! There you are. It has taken quite a little while to get back here to the computer to post. I'm finding myself overwhelmed with the minutia of daily existence these past few days. Wednesday saw me flooded with bolts of fabric... okay, only about 70 bolts, but unexpected, as I had not given the company the go ahead to ship it to me. Today, while waiting to hear from the fabric company about the shipment, I find out that the whole paperwork dance we did last month so I could get a wee, teensy loan was for naught. Do you want to know why ? This is really funny, so hold onto your seat... the credit cards we paid off (store debt incurred buying stuff to sell) now leave me with (wait for it...) too much credit and I'm apparently a huge credit risk, paying off my bills with a second mortgage. If it weren't so f*cking ridiculous I'd be in tears, but I had a shitty childhood, and it takes waaay more to bend me. I don't know how to make the bank stand up and take notice, and don't think I didn't already think of getting a penis, but Emma says I'd have to go to Thailand, and airfare is just too pricey. And yes, I know if I was running a bait and tackle shop, or a lawn mowing service, or just wanted a loan for a big honking television, I'd have the money already. Yep, I just need a penis in one hand to get the loan in the other. SBA loan? Who needs it? Me and my ulcer are just fine the way we are, penisless and trapped in a broke woman's body.

For all those in favor of the boob hats, the basic pattern is cast on 88 sts loosely (I use a Brittany size 9.5 needle. Don't tell me they don't exist... I have a set of 5 dpns... I don't hallucinate in quintuples). Then I switch to size 7 dpns and knit around until the hat fits comfortably down over my ears, or a bit longer for a person with a big head. Begin decreases (knit 6, k2tog) all the way 'round, then do a plain round, then dec rnd again (k5, k2tog), plain rnd again, repeating these two rounds (and you know the next dec rnd is k4, k2tog, blah, blah, blah... just always do one less, if you're a newbie) and at 44 sts I switch yarn, continuing the decreases. Work till you have just five or so sts, work 2 or 3 rnds of i-cord, and you're done. Boob hat complete. Takes less than a day, if you pay attention there at the end for the decreasing.

I'll try to be less grumpy tomorrow. That Crocker Woman threatened to put a highly unflattering photo of yours truly on her blog. I'm much cuter in person, with my rockin' new hair cut. Today was just a day and tomorrow I get to try again. Take care, y'all. C

The boob hats

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Originally uploaded by clementinesdrygoods

Not hats for boobs, but boob hats, as per my Crazy Aunt in Alabama's instructions. She's currently up in Iowa, taking care of my fruit-loopy Grandma, and was in need of some hilarity with her warm head covering. The other one is for Cousin Rachael. They like to wear them to the grocery store, where they both spend long moments looking at things on high shelves, whilst standing side-by-side. The plan they've concocted is to be "shocked and appalled" should anyone point out they have tits on their heads. This sick sense of humor is family wide, and will only get worse the closer my aunt comes to me, geographically speaking.

In other news, I dropped off my dead Viking today at the Sewing Center. Hopefully he'll make a full and speedy recovery, but I have two quilt tops to piece, both pineapple quilts, and as I'm sure Jaye would agree, you just don't swap machines mid-pineapple. Arrgh. If I'd planned to purchase a new machine, I'd be all 'researched up' and ready to make a commitment, but there is so much technology out there ... I feel rather like a dinosaur already. All I need is my 1/4 inch piecing foot, a short, straight stitch, and an uninterrupted hour or two and it'd be done. I've been having nightmares where Amy Butler comes into the shop and lazy me doesn't have any quilts made up in her fabrics. Perfect time for a two year old's natural destructive abilities to kick in.

Happier news: I made buttered rum mix. And Steph, I can't tell you what bitters are, but they smell delicious. Kind of like bay leaves, and spices, and citrus oils. Very pungent, and very concentrated. I think a moderate drinker could go a year or so on one tiny bottle of bitters, but it's the sort of thing you start dripping into everything once you've got them... like an exotic extract. I'm thinking of using them instead of vanilla in the next batch of molasses cookies...mmmm.

Well, off to have a rummy tummy-warmer. hope everyone is happy and well. I hear Eli is now awake and grouchy, but I'm pretty sure I won't care after a mug of buttery-rum goodness. Take care, y'all. Cami

A Shocking Photo

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Originally uploaded by clementinesdrygoods

Thanks to WonderMelly, here is an actual photo, of actual socks, on actual feet... Lilly's, to be exact. They have been adored and worn, hard, for days. I finished them at knitting on Tuesday night. RedRhonda witnessed the finale, all but the grafting of the toe, which I was able to finish later in the evening (okay, possibly it was after midnight) and that makes this, by my count, the fifth day in a row that they've been on her pigs. I will be stripping them off for a scrub this evening. So, pick yourself up off the floor, and thank That Crocker Woman that, finally, we are photoless no more. Wa-hoo.

That Crocker Woman

I think I have the most brilliant friends ever and not just because they like me. See what the rockin' cool betty, Melly Gail put over there, in my sidebar? Go on, just slide your eyeballs over to the right... isn't she something, That Crocker Woman? The bitchy girl image is something 'Boris' swiped from somewhere, and it's been languishing in a flickr-file. As it sums me up so perfectly, I just had to have it, but if it's some one's call sign, leave me a comment and I'll have Marvelous Melly the wonder-geek take it down. She changed my mail and everything yesterday, and knows all the deep secrets to pirate my blog. She also found a photo card reader-ma-jiggie built right into my laptop (I, of course, had NO idea it was there) and so, if I blog from the shop, should be able to put photos back into my posts. Yay, Melly.

I started another pair of socks last night, and have finally come to the realization that I'm going to have to finish some short-row heels to recoup all of my 40" addi needles for two-at-a-time, toe-ups. I'm stuck having to magic loop one sock at a time, which, let's face it, does NOT have the same Olympic knitting appeal as finishing a pair all at once. This is my punishment, though, for not actually finishing all the pairs I have going on all my long needles. The yarn is Opal, it stripes solid red and cream/black fair isle, and the novelty of the striping pattern wore off after about two inches. Today I'm getting back to the gorgeous LotusYarn "a Thousand Hours", with it's swirls of blueberry, plum, caramel, and cream. I'm readjusting the stitch count, because the yarn is cushy and accommodating. I may only need 68 sts around the foot, and I might try a shaped instep this time. I just need to get them done. Shop sample *cough* , you know.

Well, someone in this house has pooped his pants, so I'm going to midget-toss him into the shower and get everyone else to dress and put away their laundry. It's Sunday. I like to start the week off with empty laundry baskets. Keeps the mice from building nests in their clothes. When we get into town, I'm going to try and post a pic of the striped socks I made Lilly, which she has worn every day since I finished them. Tonight I'll probably have to sneak them off her feet to give 'em a sink-bath. Ha. Your brain read stink-bath, too, didn't it? Hope everyone (two legs, or four) is doing well. Behave yourselves out there today. Latah, muh knittas.

Of asshats and little men

In this case, he's one and the same. The torturous two-year-old on a mission form his master, Legion, to destroy my sanity, one paltry braincell at a time. The only thing I want do do now is sit on the sofa, eat cheese curls and male Hershey's bars, and fondle yarn, and I think maybe I overdid the dose of my medication. However, little dude-person was hollering and screeching for a "ba" (we ran out of formula powder and thought we'd have a go at weaning him off the sauce) and it was nearing the breaking point for me. 'Boris' is off at work still, so he missed a lot of "quality time" with his spawn today. Lucky for me I keep Mommy's little helper handy, and while I can't feed it to him, I can eat all I want of them and then just giggle at his meltdown, from a fuzzy, happy corner of my brain. He, too, is now content with cheese curls, so I'll bid you adieu. I have to stagger over to the living room now. This heavily medicated post about nothing in particular was brought to you by the letter M, because Melly thinks I've been a lazy blogger. Perhaps she'll find a way for me to post from the shop tomorrow. I'm bringing the camera, Miss M... you just bring that big brain of yours, k? smooches to y'all. I can't feel my front teeth...

Awww, you guys Rock!

Thank you for the kind words. Those, coupled with my daily meds, will continue to keep me calm and centered for at least the rest of the day. Admittedly, I was fairly miffed about the whole thing, but my darling 'Boris' put it all into the perspective that was seconded by y'all. The real shame of it is you know the people creating the bags and needles over in Vietnam aren't making fistfuls of dollars for their efforts. Hell, there's probably a street market where the 'seconds' are sold to tourists for pennies on the dollar. And the price for a pair of 10" ebony needles is more on the current wholesale list than I paid retail for a pair in another shop two years ago. Curious, no? This really boils down to local shops being piss-headed, and that's fine for them. But if I've tied my own cash up in stock for the shop, and been helped out by fellow knitters to meet what turns out to be an artificially inflated initial order (sales reps are notorious for that), what business is it of anyone else's? Lantern Moon makes the same amount no matter what I sell their wares for. Isn't that the bottom line that should matter to them? Oh well.

As you pointed out, their stuff 'ain't all that and a bag a chips' (a goofism from one of my half sisters. It applies here). And I do have the Harmony needles in sizes 2 thru 2.27 mm. I marked them up $1.50 from Knitpicks price, and the company knows I'm selling them like that. I have the 32" circs, too, so sock knitters can loop their hearts out. I'm told that Knitpicks' own Kelly has begun trying two at a time, so can a Knitpicks 40" be far behind? Oooh, I hope so, though I do love my addis. They are just a little kinder to my fingers when I'm stress-knitting (oh, so tightly). Speaking of socks, today I'm starting a pair in Lotus Yarn "a thousand hours". Four skeins arrived on Tuesday and I. Love. Her. Yarn. The pair I'm making is a shop sample (yeah, for about a day) and I can't wait to get started. I've finished two pairs up this past week, all because I couldn't wait to get my fingers into Lotusknitter's yarn. I feel honored to have her yarn in the shop. Well, gotta get ready for "work" (that is never going to get old... yarn and fabric being called work... tee-hee). Latah, knittas.

Price-fixing, anti-capitalism, and Lantern Moon

Well, it was a disappointing phone call, as I tried to get things all arranged. Sadly, a sneaky bastard (yes, I realize companies google themselves. Now.) got involved and now my 'opening order' will never, ever be happening. Yes, gentle reader, I have been blackballed from purchasing lovely Lantern Moon products for the shop. As a teeny, tiny business, in an eensy-weensy space, in the little hamlet of Franklin, Indiana, this is probably not a crushing blow. Nor am I surprised. Some of you (from as far away as Australia!) say you don't understand how needlework shops have such a hard time getting in basic supplies, and this is why. In this case, I'm guessing it was a combination of factors, because I know the operators of Lantern Moon do not read this blog, but instead had a little tattle-tale drag them to it, and my offering up products at wholesale to get the opening order out of the way evidently harshed their mellow. You know the movie "Office Space"? It was like I was stuck on the phone with Lundberg... 'Ummm, yeah (pause) we aren't going to sell to you because (pause) it isn't fair to other retailers (pause) ,hmmmm, for you to offer cheaper prices than they do.'

This of course opens the door on price-fixing, which cannot be defended. If I choose to sell something at less of a mark-up, because a company inflates their prices and has an elitist attitude, should that company be supported by the knitting community at large? I'd love to have the products in store, but the truth is most people won't plunk down full price for "beautiful and handcrafted products" (their words) and how better to support "socially and globally conscious living" (again, their words) than by PUTTING MORE PRODUCT OUT THERE? I guess the starving women in Vietnam don't need to make more things to sell in Indiana, because I wasn't willing to rape you all on price. Apparently Lantern Moon is, though, so you shouldn't be distraught. My apologies to all those who were so willing to help a struggling shop-owner out.

On a happier note, the happy chaos quilt class keeps growing. I can not wait to see the pretties that come out of our workshop. I'm shooting for a January 5th/6th and 19th/20th set of classes, and the modern quilt wrap kal in the kidsilk crack will hopefully follow soon. I'm offering alternate colorways, because the light blue is light blah to moi, so a deeper blue and the blackberry color will be available for substitution. I think the 'jelly' color is mandatory, though. We could all use a bit more chartreuse in our lives. Au revoir, mes tricoteurs.

For Her Royal Pinkness

This recipe whomps 'arse', and is just the thing to have laying about in the fridge until a wet, cold, inhumane day calls for a bit of, well, blurring. For Steph, who may or may not be able to knit after a few of these, here is a recipe for Hot Buttered Rum:

For the mix:
1 stick real butter, NOT margarine
1 pound (seriously) light brown sugar
1 tsp. Saigon cinnamon, or 1 and 1/2 tsps. regular ground cinn.
1 tsp. nutmeg
1/2 tsp. angostura bitters
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
1/8 tsp. ground allspice (or a pinch of cloves)

Mix all dry ingredients with sugar, then melt butter and sugar mixture over medium heat, stirring constantly to prevent scorching. Keep stored in the refrigerator until ready to use.
For the drink, combine 1 heaping tsp. mix, 2 ounces dark rum, and about 4 oz boiling water, stirring to mix well. Dark rum is key. If you are daring, may I suggest "Tattoo", the spiced rum from 'Captain Morgan'? Enjoy!

p.s. It isn't nearly as cold as it looks outside, which leads me to think I'll be driving home on ice when all this wet muck chills out tonight. arrgh. Cami

Indiana never disappoints

It's near freezing outside, though with some drizzly rain this morning. Much better than yesterday's sleet, which made the "Christmas Lights Parade" in the hamlet of Franklin ever so much fun. I heard the marching band, the kids and I dashed outside the shop's doors, and all we caught were some horse's asses. Morgans, I think. Then I realized I had ice in my hair and that was the end of our parade fun. Obviously there are Mensa members in charge of Franklin's festival planning, as the previous evening we had a luminary walk around town from 6-9 pm. A perfect time to snap on those holiday lights, don't you think? Today promises to be cold and dreary. I'll be getting those Lantern Moons orders organized and sitting with a pile of yarn swatches in my lap. I have another pair of socks nearly finished, and the monkeys are done, washed and drying on the AGA as I type this. I do have to get all the kids ready for 'work' so I'll type at y'all later. Stay warm. Cami