Sunday, February 10, 2008

Subtitles

The comings and goings of this life are usually silent and unremarkable. It struck me today how strange my life would seem if it were captioned, or if I were required to explain myself. Why is it that I have to re-check light switches and the coffeepot before I can leave my home or the shop, that I always fumble in the console for the sunglasses I know with all certainty the two-year-old snapped apart ages ago, and why can't I remember driving home most days? (I'm chalking that one up to low blood sugar.)

I spent the better part of the day thinking over how different my life is from what I'd planned it to be. All the stuff I thought was important seems silly, now that I have five smallish humans to grow and teach. Control is something you think you have until the scales fall from your eyes and you realize that all you're managing is a peaceful interlude between disasters. Some are small and you regain your composure quickly, others are scary and horrible and sometimes your disasters aren't really bad things at all, but you don't recognize the good bits for awhile. Subtitles would help then. I could spend less time cringing over things. War, elections, money, friends, my children's future spouses. I think sometime today I decided it'll all be okay. I have my family, my friends, my yarn. And my blog.

Because of this blog, I've become accquainted with all manner and sorts of people. We are all so very different, and yet it's the small similarities that bind us together. We are all seekers. We seek help knitting socks, or a fabulous waffle recipe, or just how, exactly, do we turn three paper sacks full of t-shirts into a rag rug without wanting to gouge out our own eyes? We have different opinions, different incomes, different dye-jobs, but we all want to be happy. I've never fit into a box, never had an easy explaination for my self or my behaviors. One of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me was " gee, I'd never have pegged you for the home-birth type". It matters little at the end of the day what our labels describe, what our subtitles would've been. We are crafty people and we love that about each other.

Now, that being said, I have some addendums to post:
Miss G, the color is Orly "who's who pink"... wear it well. It's gorgeous on!
Steph, I got your e-mail and we have much to discuss. I'm writing you snail mail again, 'cuz then you have to trudge out to the mailbox to get it. Like exercise, only better, because the letter is like a prize!
SouthernMel, your new haircut is freaking amazing and if I were a hundred pounds thinner I'd copycat you in a heartbeat. It really sets off your jawline and makes your eyes look huge. You are beautiful... you'll be the prettiest woman at the orgy!
Melly and Red... I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. Rhonda, are you better yet? I hope to see you soon.
D-fly: I can't wait to go yarnin' with you in March. Can we work a Kopp's burger and chocolate frozen custard in there, too?
Type at y'all knittas latah. I have socks to finish... still. (Send in the stunt knitters. I have no idea how I'll finish by Tuesday morning.)

6 comments:

knitter in the desert said...

Actually I had a very similar conversation w/a friend of mine on our last coffee evening. Discussing having no desire of returning to our days of High School ect. And how we never 'fit into' the main stream groups. And that perhaps it was because you can't put us into just one box and the others were threatened by this. So I say Feh! on being only one thing and celebrate our complexities and differences--good bad and ugly

gaylen said...

loved the post, very profound and maybe speaks alot to how I've been feeling lately. I'm behind on daily posting - never to catch up again :) Lova ya - g

Stephanie said...

I also think a lot about how my life is where it is and what I use to think was important. I love the home-birthing comment. I loved having a home birth..and I really honestly loved the freaked out look on people's faces when I told them I had a home birth. I LIKE not fiting into the "norm". I like having a gaggle of kids. I also love how blogging has really changed my life. I started it as a way to keep motivated in my knitting and craft project. I never really thought about the people and friendships it would spark. I consider myself a very lucky girl. Lucky to have met so many cool people :) Love ya sista!

Harriet said...

WOW !!!

LotusKnits said...

I love this post too. My priorities have definitely changed over the years and I'm thankful for it. I don't want to be the person I though I wanted to be AT ALL.

Thanks for the hair compliment! It's growing on me (not literally).

xoxo

Dragonfly said...

the older I've gotten the more I've decided that being me is just fine. If nothing else, my wide variety of "self" helps me connect with more people that I meet and find common ground.

Definitely on the yarn & Kopps, I just need to know date and semi-time so I can arrange with work. If we're meeting during the day, I can take off work if I know soon. If we meet in the evening-ish, I have to be prepared to pick up son.