Thursday, July 3, 2008

This one's for Snuffy (not suitable for minors or the verbally sensitive)

One of muh knittas has been abused by a member (and I mean that in the most phallic of contexts) of the medical community, and I just wanted to take this evening's (oops, it's already tomorrow... again) morning's post to tell a tale of medical malfeasance I was forced to endure when I had to get a tooth pulled. Stephanie's ordeal was horrifying, and she was treated shamefully by the doctor, and in no way am I trying to "go her one better", because I would've had a police escort out of her doc's office, and some of you would be scrounging my bail money (I would hope, anyway!) right about now. Anyway, in the spirit of sharing horror stories, here's why I despise a particular oral butcher who operates in central Indiana. The Nazis would have loved him for his 'mad skilz'.

This story begins with a lil' fat girl who decided she'd like to have shiny teeth, so she bought some 'Pearl Drops tooth polish' (dumb thing #1). As luck would (not) have it, her parents had come to visit her home and to keep the dad-guy busy, all the old plumbing in the house was replaced with copper (good, but as fate would have it, dumb thing #2). Turns out, roughing up her fillings with the tooth polish and the resultant water softener/ion/copper metal reactions created a condition called "galvanic shocks" in her mouth whenever the upper and lower fillings touched... like chewing foil. (I know, and it gets worse.)

Finally, after a mere decade of suffering, our lil' fat heroine gives in and has her fillings drilled out (ugh, told you it'd be worse) and replaced with resin. Oh, if only it were that simple. Side One went well, but a molar on Side Two was nerve-damaged and a root canal would not guarantee a successful outcome, so it was scheduled to be removed. Que 'the good doctor'...

Initial meeting: okay, this guy has a mullet, and graduated from Louisiana, but hey, I'm not one to hold geography or lack of proper hair maintenance against someone. Besides, he was on the referral sheet, so he has to be okay, right? Fast forward to me, getting a minuscule dose of the sedation I'm paying Big Bucks for, and the next thing I feel is searing, blinding pain and more pressure than my brain can process and I can feel the tooth being wrenched from my jaw. Mind you, I've been given a drug to 'sedate' me, I have tools and stretchers in my mouth, and I'm strapped, waist and arms, to the chair. As I'm shrieking and trying to get away from this wretch of a "dentist", and tears are streaming out of my eyes, he has the nerve to yell at me... and this is precious, really...
"Put your fucking legs down, you fat cow, before you break my god damned chair."

How 'bout you stop scrimping on the meds people pay you for, dumbass.

The nurse, who I later found out was either his wife or his not-the-wife, ponied up a big dose of whatever they didn't use enough of in the first place, and I spent the next twelve hours as a zombie. When I finally came to and confronted the office manager about the experience, I was told I'd imagined the whole thing, so I quoted back what he'd said to me as I writhed to get away, what the 'nurse' did in the room, and a few other tidbits that I could recall. The stunned expression on the office manager's face was priceless, and she stopped denying anything had gone 'awry', though I could never get an apology from that backwater butcher.

In the ensuing years, I have now 'grown' a titanium root implant where that ill-fated molar was removed, and a snappy new porcelain crown rests atop it. That surgery was so far removed from the horror of the extraction; night and day have more in common. Finding a decent, capable, and concerned oral surgeon has saved my few shreds of sanity, and given me the security that if I ever need any type of sedation again, I can be well assured it will work. (I could regale you with the 22 minute "lumpectomy" I had done in a surgical center where the doc couldn't get me numb, but he worked fast and we got through it... I swore a LOT and ground my teeth, his nurses told horrid jokes, we put the music up loud, and I tried not to jump every time the cauterizer zapped me. Point being, he showed compassion in a bad situation neither of us wanted to be in. Character counts.)

6 comments:

SuzyQ said...

Oh my goodness. That is horrendous what happened. And here I have been complaining about the discomfort I had when I had a filling replaced and it overwhelmed my nerve and had to have a root canal - painful and stressful - yes. Horrifying - no. My goodness. I go the lovely ladies at A New Smile off Smith Valley Road in Greenwood - they are very compassionate about pain and always double dose me on the numbing stuff if I even feel the slightest pinch - and they referred me to a great endodontist who did my root canal - also with extra numbing and who provided me with a box of Kleenexes for my tears (from being nervous not from pain) and kept telling me it was going to get better. :)

Your experience definitely put mine into perspective - going to the dentist may not float my boat but I have been luckily enough to find wonderful people to work on me.

prairievisiondesign : handmade said...

This is timely - yesterday my husband left a surgeon's table because they wanted to give him complete anesthesia to remove a small growth on his back; whatever happened to quick procedures? The office wanted him to sign all kinds of papers (and asked him about his will and religious beliefs) and they had no less than 3 nurses to do the anesthesia; words were exchanged (many starting with f). Doctors seem to think they own us and our bodies.

knitter in the desert said...

That dentist should have been reported and not be allowed to practice. Not just the amt of pain you went thru but his comments to you! Unbelivable.
I have had three teeth pulled recently (room needed so the other teeth could be shifted via braces) and no pain at all....

Stephanie said...

Holy hell batman! That is WAY more evil than my Ortho was to me. Mine just involved belittling...not actually inflicting pain. EEP. I think the "medical establishment" thinks they are so much better than everyone...especially fat people. I have no illusions that I'm skinny...but I do ask to be treated with a little respect! I went in to my reg. doc today and she made me feel much better about everything...I still do need to do the MRI but I'm going to ask to see another doc in the office. Although...I kinda want to see the same asshole so I can have a few choice words or gems up my sleeve now that I won't be blind sided.

I hate doctors. I love my naturopath. I'll go with the "freaks" any day of the week thank you very much :)

amywb said...

Remind me never to buy Pearl Drops tooth polish. Yikees!

brigette said...

oh my!
i am sooo not going to try to ONE UP you on that one! i'm needing dental work done and i'm thinkin' i'm putting it off for a short while now!!! i'll tell my dentist you freaked me out too badly! :) i'm so sorry you had to go thru that.