Sunday, June 15, 2008

Cow Toss

Here we are. Father's Day, 2008. What to get the man who already has five devil-spawn? First, I decided a song book would be good. 'Boris' tinkers a bit on his Taylor guitar, and I'd hoped to have him cranking out the theme song from "Weeds". 'Cuz I can sing that one... not well, but I know all the words. Turns out, Malvina Reynolds has been dead since 1978, and her songbooks are long out of print, but the cool cats at GuitarWorks in Greenwood found her 'Little Boxes' song in another book. Swell. Then it was on to the next business, that of feeding the herd.

A quick trip through Taco Bell, where the scar-faced man with the prison tattoos always flirts with me (he likes Biggrrrl, and would probably carjack me if he could fit through the drive-thru window), and we were set to chow down in the parking lot of Best Buy. This is where the music lives, and is the hell torment that must be endured to procure music to fascinate our Father's Day celebrant. We walked, like a family of taco-stuffed ducklings, into the depths of the box store, and were awarded with not only four CDs for Daddy, but two Wii games as well.

Last stop for the day's crazy train was SuperTarget. Normally, I don't get to go to Target, with having to keep hours at Clementine's, but today was special. I got distracted in the sniff-the-candles aisle, the examine-this-cheap-but-cute stationery aisle, and was just getting to the ponder-fifty-kinds-of-toothpaste aisle, when Joe, who had complained of wanting to go home, and then of having a stomach ache (yet he declined a trip to the restroom...thrice) blew beefy taco bits all over the floor in front of the pharmacy (former home of the 'family toilet'). It was all I could do not to bust out laughing. Or crying. Maybe a little of both, I think. It took four attempts to get paper towels out of the pharmacy dude, plus I had to beg them to open the door to the former 'family toilet' to wash the mess off everyone's Crocs (God Bless Crocs. Can I get an Amen?), and when, finally, someone came with the stinky sawdust/barf absorber, we'd been ten minutes into getting it cleaned up ourselves. Those dudes are sloths... sleeping sloths.

I'm just hoping it's a stomach bug and not food poisoning, because if I have to endure this with four more kids (and myself) today, I will be a singularly unhappy, and slightly green about the gills, momma. Herr Becher is busily trying to rustle up dinner. I don't have the heart to tell him I'm just not that into it.


prairievisiondesign : handmade said...

This makes me happy in a funny way, like we're in the same club - Sarah threw up once at Target, too, but it was in front of the cash registers. What's with the closed family bathroom anyway? I've complained about it, too. Let's circulate a petition. All these Parental Happenings have a purpose, right? No vomiting here today but our air conditioner went out (after our fridge was out last week). Geersh. Hope your night goes better than your day!

melly~ said...

amen sistah!
oh how I wish we could spend days on end together. i love reading your batherings. you simply make me laugh and that is, as they say, a good thing.
happy dad's day, Boris.

Rob said...

It's always somethin...with the Becher crew. So sad that we missed you in Targhay (NOT)(the vomit- not you)
Guess what !!!!! ta dun da dun. Drum roll please - Robin started a knitting project and finished it in two days (one knitting and just finished felting). It's a bowl (or a pot) made of blue/green malabrigo chunky. I love it and now must make more - yesterday was my sistah's BD (the oceanographer) and I will whip up another one instead of sending her a gift card. It's small and I'm sure she'll find space for it on her boat. I will bring it on Weds so that my friends actually know that I can still knit (instead of look longingly in my bag at UFO's and stare) I get distracted easily at shiny things too.
Hope Joe is ok now and IT doesn't play "tag" with the other Bechers.
Always, Robin

Thimbleanna said...

Amen you poor dear! It's always fun in your neck of the woods. Hope Joe is ok now and that none of the rest of you upchucked your way to the Dad's day party. I'm so jealous that you get to play with you girls and see the fun stuff that they make!