Sunday, April 27, 2008

In under the wire

A certain somebody was supposed to stunt-blog for me, but I'm guessing her partying ass needed a nap when she got home from tearing up Toledo. Long drive and all.
I have absolutely nothing to blog about today. I've been sorta, maybe, a wee bit cranky as of late, and have spent the better part of today mentally composing a list of things making me crabby right now. I know, it seems very negative, and I'm sure I'll be judged harshly for it later, but here are just a few. Feel free to complain bitterly in the 'comments' section.

1.) Bicycles and their riders. Especially the ones who don't feel compelled to obey traffic signs, just because they are out on a country road. Hey, dumbass dork in the lycra; a four-way stop is still a stop. If I blew it off the way you did yesterday, you'd be dead. Problem solved.

2.) People who claim to be "open-minded". Let's just put that to rest right now. Possibly, if you are a liberal, you are decidedly not open to hearing any topics of discussion I might be interested in debating with you. You want to call me horrible names, shout 'bumper-stickers' at me, and lump me in with the spineless ass-weasels that pass for "Republicans". Thanks for your "open mind". So sorry your brain fell out. (This is not directed at my darling lib friends, who keep me around as an affirmation that their theories are correct... more just a general observance, as we approach another electoral season.)

3.) Cheap people. Thread costs money. Good thread costs even more money. Don't come into a shop for a spool of thread and wait until it's rung up to throw a tirade about a five-dollar spool of Gutterman. The gas you'd burn to drive up to Greenwood to purchase the same spool of thread at JoAnn's would cost you at least three bucks, and guess what? The same size spool of thread is almost a dollar MORE there. I just checked. Enjoy picking the cheap, frayed thread out of those lace curtains you were trying to hem.

4.) Rock ballads. Despise the rock ballad. Ever since Kiss did "Beth", every band with a bass and a double-kick drum has felt the need to do the love song... sadly, with the aging GenXers approaching their fourth decade, some of this music is having a revival on the sad radio stations at the far end of the dial (remember radios before the 'seek' button?) and without the i-pod in the car, I always feel compelled to surf the stations. This has lead to some punishing listening, and because my teen years were spent dolled up in Commander Salamander, listening to U2's "Boy" album... I don't recognize the scary rock ballad until it's too late. I'm drawn in, waiting for the big noise to start... and it doesn't. The only exception I can make is for Aerosmith. I mean, really, can Mr. Tyler ever be awful?

Okay, hyper-opinionated rant is over. Hope I didn't step on any toes. I even left out the part where the hoopla over going "green" makes the rebel in me want to throw Kleenexes out the car window like I did when I was three (ask my mom how much she liked getting pulled over for that) or insist that the bagger at the grocery put in only one item per bag... hell, it's practically how they do it anyway, which is why, when I shop, I take my reuseable ones. Ha. Thought you had me all in the box? I also give to charity, posses an actual heart (as opposed to the standard-issue stone given to us in the GOP), and do not routinely eat puppies for breakfast. Hopefully, tomorrow my meds will have kicked in. If they don't, I'm going for broke with the "all knitters do not like soy yarn" rant. But here's to better living through chemistry. I do hope you'll come back... the world would be dullish and stupid if we all had to be the very same... like China, only with better clothes.

3 comments:

Robin said...

Boy, this week has been a downward spiral for the "lady who owns a fabric/yarn store". I'm glad it's spring - if it were in the depths of winter we would have to put you in a padded room for a spell. (Sometimes I thought that might be a relief - sad but true - no responsibilities). It's a new week - you're going on a "harlot crawl" with fun friends...take a deep breath...Try to ignore the hormone thing, the financial woes - step outside the body. Let it go! (or ye might explode) although I think you already have. I'll check in on you later. Remember how the Missouri synod Lutheran Pastors used to say (yes, there are two of us)- Peace be with you. You know I don't remember much, but this seems appropriate at this time. Chill out my knittin sistah, it has to get betta.
Love, xoxo, Rob

LotusKnits said...

god you republicans are all the same! (totally kidding)

we might not have a ton in common, but that doesn't mean we can't be bitches together. otherwise, where's the fun?

anyway, the stripy socks are looking lovely!

hope your meds kicked in and you're feeling on top of the world today!

xoxo

melly~ said...

I'm still recovering from my weekend in DAYTON but I had to stop by and read the rant. It was good. Made me nod my head and laugh out loud, kind of like I do EVERY. TIME. WE. TALK.

Funny how I missed you while I was gone and don't usually see you on the weekends. (I was trying to think of a clever ballad title to insert here but failed miserably) just know I love ya!