Sunday, April 13, 2008

Mommas, don't let yer babies...

My almost three-year-old has taken to carrying a shoulder bag. Not the hip, newsboy style messenger bag, or a tough and rowdy saddle bag, but an all out Chanel knock-off... chain strap, red faux leather, with "leopard skin" accents. In it he has stowed a pink lemonade Bonnie Bell lip gloss, a pacifier, and a few carefully wadded up bits of paper, which he insists are money. Oh, and the keys. A wad of old keys he cobbed on to while we were 'touring' the relatives back in March. They add both weight and a nice jingle to his swishy purse. I fear he intends to wear it out of the house, and I'm dreading the inevitable meltdown that will ensue when we cannot make a hasty exit (restaurant, grocery, or other) because "we can't find Eli's purse, mom!"

Eddie Izzard has nothing on my toddler, who has already, oh, so carefully, given himself a bright red manicure. It took place whilst 'Boris' was on child survival-duty. When I came home and asked why the baby's hands were all red, dearest husband claimed he had no clue how the boy even reached the nailpolish. It took five days to find the bottle... Eli had hidden it in a bulk pack of toilet paper in the bathroom cupboard. Only one roll of toilet paper was sacrificed, along with my favorite Orly "Rock On Red" toenail lacquer. Summer won't be quite the same without it, but more to the point, I have to find an acceptable substitute for young Master Eli's bag habit, because as accepting as I may be of all my childrens' quirks, ideas, and experiments,that bag is soooo fifteen years ago.

5 comments:

Stephanie said...

ROFLMAO. I love you Cami. Your goofball kids sound just like mine. As long as they are "executive" trasvestites...not those weird-o ones...who cares? LOL.

Love ya! Mwah.

Randi said...

Too funny!

Robin said...

dear dear Eli...he is such a bundle of energy and wonder - and also emits the loudest shrill when he wants to! I hope you and the family are feeling better and that it is not a long struggle back to good health. I must see this bag so if he changes the "habit" before Weds, bring it anyway.
Love, Rob

Thimbleanna said...

Holy Crap Cami! You're hysterical! Get the boy a fashionable bag. Better yet, make him one! That little angel may put you parentals under before long -- he's a cutie!

Dragonfly said...

I love your kids, dying laughing that he actually thought to hide the polish. Love the fact that he's carrying his fully equipped bag too.