Dear Koigu

Once upon a time a new knitter stumbled upon the most lavishly filled yarn shop in all of the Milwaukee area. This was an exciting discovery for the knitter, for it was the first time she beheld your yarn. One touch and she knew she must have it. It mattered not that there was only one skein of the beautiful handpainted yarn. That she possess it and stash it was the only thing on her mind. It would be knit into many things, first a baby hat, then a small sleeve, just to see what it 'looked like'. Then, in the span of a few short moments, the knitted thing was frogged, and the tiny skein of perfectly painted yarn rewound and safely stored in a glass jar.

Here we are today, dear Koigu. I have plenty of matching skeins stored away, and there are even a few items that stayed knitted out of that first perfect skein, with it's plum and gold, mossy green and rosy mauve, auburn and deep sea blue, all tossed with the deepest chocolate brown. But the base yarn is so skinny now, and the stated yardage a joke. For grins, I've run at least eight skeins through the yarn meter, and you know what? That whole +- 176 yds thing? Not so. I have yet to get more than 146 out of one of your cheater skeins. Those eight hanks of yarn I measured? I'm short (by my calculations) 240 yds... *ahem* two HUNDRED and forty YARDS of yarn. That's just the eight hanks I balled up and measured through a yarn meter. So I weighed them. The whole 50 grams thing? Again, (surprise!) not so. Forty three came up a lot, as did forty four, and once, oh my, the ball weighed in at nearly 46 grams. It kept flashing back to forty-five, so I'll call it 45.5g. Fair enough?

I just checked the label on the newest addition to the Koigu stash, and it's label simply states 50 g/ 175 yds. I realize that I'm just an American idiot, but doesn't the lack of the +- kind of mean you're obligated to be HONEST??? Get your damned thumb off the scale, because at fourteen bucks a skein, you're starting to piss me off. Once upon a time you had my heart, but you aren't the only yarn in the shop. You won't get my yarn dollars anymore. I'm just one knitter in a sea of millions, but that's it. We're through. Cheater, cheater, sock yarn stealer.